Changeling Times || e-Zine by the Chameleon Club and ACE

Poetry

Victoria Ganger
Inspirational Invocation: Candlemas, 2/2/97

Before the Poet found words.
Before the Singer found notes.
Before the Dancer found steps,
or the Artist, strokes,

There was you.

Swimming.
Swimming.
Swirling in the vastness of potential...the only ocean large enough to hold you.
Simmering in the cauldron of imagination
The spark in the darkness.
Waiting.
Waiting for the kindling of life and light to shine you forth.
The seed.
Germinated by our need to give birth to ideas.
and works of art.
and labors of love
wrought by hand and heart and spirit.

You are the Muse that sits on our shoulders.
The gentle tap that let us open the door in a new direction.
The talons that sink down deep
causing us to rise and pace...restless...sleepless...
until, giving you form,
we can find our peace again.

You are the breath of the oldest Gods.
You are the glow in the eyes of those who feel, for the first time,
the ecstasy of your touch.

Inspiration, we name you!
We sing you!
We dance you!
We draw and are drawn by you!
We bring you forth like lightning! Like firebrand!
We whisper your name like feathers. Like a kiss.
Inspiration we call you
to this, our gathering ,
in this sacred time and space.

Victoria Ganger
Walker Moon: 7/21/97

She...

lazing low in the saddle of night tonight...

This glowing One...
Calm...
Cool...
Full of thoughts of Her own.

A bit weary,
perhaps,
from carrying the season so long.
Bearing her growing pains in inner silence
while pouring forth Her light and music upon
the world
eager
demanding
to be moonstruck
whether She will or no.

Slow she walks Her circular path...
pondering
like a coin caught in mid-toss
while below,
they wait to call her Fate.

Standing still in the Circle
Breath....held.
As drumbeats--wash waves against distant shores.
And dancers--weave the ancient patterns.
And fawns--gaze wide-eyed into Her ring of wolves...
For innocence...
is never enough
for life and death to pass unnoticed...

And still...
She rolls over all.
Heedless.
Heartstrong.
Pulling the sinews of thought as tight as bowstring.
Reaching out to gather you in...

And cast
the runes
of Her spell

again.

Humor 001

The following are actual opinion polls of the American public conducted by the polling firm of Widgery and Associates during the 15 installments of the TV Nation Show, starring Michael Moore. There is a margin of error of + or - 9%.

NBC SHOW #1

65% of all Americans believe that frozen pizza will never be any good and there's nothing science can do about it.
10% of the American public would pay $5 to see Senator Orin Hatch (R-Utah) fight a big mean dog on Pay TV.
86% of all viewers would root for the dog.
100% of woman viewers would root for the dog.
45% of Americans think rain doesn't feel as good in real life as it seems to in the movies.
16% of Perot voters believe "If dolphins were really smart, they could get out of those nets." The following are actual opinion polls of the American public conducted by the polling firm of Widgery and Associates during the 15 installments of the TV Nation Show, starring Michael Moore. There is a margin of error of + or - 9%.

NBC SHOW #2

65% of American women believe there is "a lot of difference" between a campaign contribution and a bribe. Only 35% of men see a difference.
70% of American women have never had an emotionally satisfying relationship with a Republican.

NBC SHOW #3

In the past year 36% of Americans have chanted "We're Number One!" Only 22% of Bush voters have chanted "We're Number One!"
62% of Americans believe that a trip to a major theme park is more culturally enriching than a trip to the Reagan Library.

NBC SHOW #4

39% of Americans believe that guns are "not as dangerous as they say."
15% of Americans wish Dennis Hopper would go back on drugs.

NBC SHOW #5

29% of Americans believe that Elvis was right to shoot TV sets.
29% of Perot voters say, "The candidate I vote for usually loses."

NBC SHOW #6

11% of Americans who suffer from indigestion would rather retake the SAT than watch a Jesse Helms filibuster.
12.5% of Americans who voted for Clinton believe that they will someday be told "just what Victoria's Secret is."
98% of Bush voters believe they will never know.

NBC SHOW #7

88% of Bush voters "have no idea what rappers are talking about."
14% of Americans surveyed agree that Puerto Rico should not be the fifty-first state because "that extra star would make the flag look bad."

NBC YEAR_END SPECIAL (1994)

35% of Americans believe Richard Nixon went to heaven.
59% believe he went "somewhere else."
34% of those who voted in the last election believe Forrest Gump was a documentary.

FOX SHOW #1

60% of Americans say that if they could push a button that would make Larry King disappear, they would "keep pushing it and not stop."
37% of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent.
More Americans say they would rather spend time in a Jacuzzi with Dan Rather than with Tom Brokaw. Of those who would tub with Dan, 10% have no health insurance.

FOX SHOW #2

11% of people who have tried Prozac would like to see Dan Quayle make a comeback because "Al Gore just isn't funny enough."
36% of college students think that there are virtually no female serial killers because women "just aren't aggressive enough."

FOX SHOW #3

12% of those polled believe the success of actor David Hasselhoff, star of Baywatch, is due at least in part to "dealings with the devil."
45% of Americans believe that if space aliens could pick up C-SPAN and see Sonny Bono speaking on the floor of Congress, they would never visit the Earth.
17% of college graduates would punch themselves really hard in the face for $50.
28% of those who said they were "normal" Americans would like to be king of Great Britain, but not if it meant marrying the queen.

FOX SHOW #4

44% of Republicans said they would watch Nightline if it had a band and an opening comedy monologue.
If Jesus came back and saw that Pat Robertson was his spokesperson, 46% of Americans think that we'd all be in big trouble.
42% of Americans feel that Kato Kaelin should be a passenger on the next space shuttle, whether he wants to go or not.

FOX SHOW #5

26% of those in possession of a firearm believe that the Second Amendment protects their right to buy explosive fertilizer.
81% of those who have seen two or more Police Acadamy movies believe that O.J. is innocent.
29% of those surveyed think that the guy who first put the "Great" in front of "Britain" probably meant it as a joke.

FOX SHOW #6

16% of all Americans believe that the world is out to get them. Of those, 46% are gun owners.
One-Third of American women agree that baseball was more exciting when it was on strike.
40% of Americans remember where they were when JFK:the Movie was shot.

FOX SHOW #7

Of those who said they've had a good cry in the past six months, 42% were Democrats, 27% were Republicans, and 54% said they believe in UFOs.
28% of Americans think that our army's high-tech military equipment is too expensive to risk in combat.

Humor 002

IDIOTS AT WORK...
   I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
   When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.
   So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
   An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
   I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
   My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

Changeling Times

An e-Zine

Poetry

Humor 001

Humor 002