Humor_001 continued The following are actual opinion polls of the American public conducted by the polling firm of Widgery and Associates during the 15 installments of the TV Nation Show, starring Michael Moore. There is a margin of error of + or - 9%. NBC SHOW #2 65% of American women believe there is "a lot of difference" between a campaign contribution and a bribe. Only 35% of men see a difference. 70% of American women have never had an emotionally satisfying relationship with a Republican. NBC SHOW #3 In the past year 36% of Americans have chanted "We're Number One!" Only 22% of Bush voters have chanted "We're Number One!" 62% of Americans believe that a trip to a major theme park is more culturally enriching than a trip to the Reagan Library. NBC SHOW #4 39% of Americans believe that guns are "not as dangerous as they say." 15% of Americans wish Dennis Hopper would go back on drugs. NBC SHOW #5 29% of Americans believe that Elvis was right to shoot TV sets. 29% of Perot voters say, "The candidate I vote for usually loses." NBC SHOW #6 11% of Americans who suffer from indigestion would rather retake the SAT than watch a Jesse Helms filibuster. 12.5% of Americans who voted for Clinton believe that they will someday be told "just what Victoria's Secret is." 98% of Bush voters believe they will never know. NBC SHOW #7 88% of Bush voters "have no idea what rappers are talking about." 14% of Americans surveyed agree that Puerto Rico should not be the fifty-first state because "that extra star would make the flag look bad." NBC YEAR_END SPECIAL (1994) 35% of Americans believe Richard Nixon went to heaven. 59% believe he went "somewhere else." 34% of those who voted in the last election believe Forrest Gump was a documentary. FOX SHOW #1 60% of Americans say that if they could push a button that would make Larry King disappear, they would "keep pushing it and not stop." 37% of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent. More Americans say they would rather spend time in a Jacuzzi with Dan Rather than with Tom Brokaw. Of those who would tub with Dan, 10% have no health insurance. FOX SHOW #2 11% of people who have tried Prozac would like to see Dan Quayle make a comeback because "Al Gore just isn't funny enough." 36% of college students think that there are virtually no female serial killers because women "just aren't aggressive enough." FOX SHOW #3 12% of those polled believe the success of actor David Hasselhoff, star of Baywatch, is due at least in part to "dealings with the devil." 45% of Americans believe that if space aliens could pick up C-SPAN and see Sonny Bono speaking on the floor of Congress, they would never visit the Earth. 17% of college graduates would punch themselves really hard in the face for $50. 28% of those who said they were "normal" Americans would like to be king of Great Britain, but not if it meant marrying the queen. FOX SHOW #4 44% of Republicans said they would watch Nightline if it had a band and an opening comedy monologue. If Jesus came back and saw that Pat Robertson was his spokesperson, 46% of Americans think that we'd all be in big trouble. 42% of Americans feel that Kato Kaelin should be a passenger on the next space shuttle, whether he wants to go or not. FOX SHOW #5 26% of those in possession of a firearm believe that the Second Amendment protects their right to buy explosive fertilizer. 81% of those who have seen two or more Police Acadamy movies believe that O.J. is innocent. 29% of those surveyed think that the guy who first put the "Great" in front of "Britain" probably meant it as a joke. FOX SHOW #6 16% of all Americans believe that the world is out to get them. Of those, 46% are gun owners. One-Third of American women agree that baseball was more exciting when it was on strike. 40% of Americans remember where they were when JFK:the Movie was shot. FOX SHOW #7 Of those who said they've had a good cry in the past six months, 42% were Democrats, 27% were Republicans, and 54% said they believe in UFOs. 28% of Americans think that our army's high-tech military equipment is too expensive to risk in combat. <BACK